January 2012
2011 was the death of my grandmother. the death of my grandfather. my own nearly fatal accident. betrayal and lies from the people i trusted most. heartache and heart break. debt. depression and loss.
2011 was new love. new friends. tears of joy. sendings off to great beyonds. new places and experiences. strengthening bonds. favorite bands. lots of writing. self discovery. music overload.
2011...
December 2011
im the fool for i thought i could make a difference. i thought i could change your mind. now i learn a new trick. letting go. moving on. one day you’ll see. one day everyone will see.
PORTLANDIA
i want a dog or a cat. humans just aren’t cutting it anymore.
i want the one i cannot have
a-very-slowdeath:
SLOWDEATH{MEADOW BRUISE}
i...
gonna give quitting smoking and drinking a shot.
wish me luck.
I miss you so fucking much. I can’t do anything.
watching coffee and cigarettes because, like that movie, my life is boring.
also the rza/gza/bill murray cameos are awesome.
a-very-slowdeath:
ROMANCER{You’re Young and...
there is a crow caah cahh caaaahing outside my window right now and somehow that seems so fitting to my desolate, dying in a field mood.
Life
the-greatest-hits:
so much of my life has depended on my mother. its incomprehensible. i go through life in san francisco occasionally getting caught up in the bullshit. i live life here and nearly die and she’s there by my bedside in the hospital. 8 hours out of her way. she’s brought the hammer down on me more times than i care to remember. her discipline her knowledge have taught me to write. love....
my head is swimming with thoughts of you
watching friends pretending i hang out with more than one person everyday
a-very-slowdeath:
BLOODY{The Great Jaws of Red}
...
just signed into my AIM for the first time in like 3 years and my icon is a picture of my ex gf. huh…then i vomited.
just found one of my roommates hairs in my soup. then i vomited.
i, contrary to what my friends may have told you, and contrary to what i say every time i get drunk, am a lover. that is, if i could, i’d befriend everyone if only for that brief moment in time between us where everything is lovely before one of us fucks it up(me).
gonna be a nicer person. it’s cold enough out there.
p.s. i’m drunk
i’m gonna wear boots today. that’s something you now know about me.
i’ve got nothing to say. i’ve run out. it’s over. i’m the most boring person on the planet.
ive got band practice tonight and couldn’t be more excited.
truth is truth. you can’t hide from it. you don’t like someone. that is truth. you feel strongly about someone. that is truth. you can’t spell. that is truth. you can’t hide from it. wherever you go it will find you. which is why i discourage people from moving to a new place when their chips are down. the truth is the truth. whatever brings you down here will bring you...
need a soundtrack for my walk today.
life is full of struggles.